Five Reasons Why You Should Have Academic Children
- To experience pure, unconditional love. You’ll smother them with affection (force alcohol down their throats until they throw up) and they’ll willingly reciprocate (puke all over your shoes).
- To make sure someone is there to look after you when you are old. By ‘look after’, I mean they’ll be there when you’re in fourth-year, taunting you with their lack of deadlines and ability to strawpedo wine without incurring the hangover from hell.
- Because you fancy one of them. After all, freshers are hot. This is an unwritten rule in itself.
- To watch them blossom from shy, doe-eyed first years into loud, brash, borderline alcoholics. Don’t miss those all-important ‘firsts’, including first random hook-up and first all-nighter!
- To teach them what your mother never taught you. Dr. Noodles is not as good as you think it might be. Never wear your favourite shoes to Kinkell. Tequila is not a pre-drink.
Image courtesy of Grain Edit.com.
